Ongoing Struggles

This is going to be a little crazy and may put some people off so fair warning. Been really struggling with a lot of stuff lately. My sexuality, I know I am bi, my marriage, which I think is pretty much over, my gender, should I go full time as a woman/sissy? Yes, I said sissy. Since I am so submissive, I have taken to calling myself a sissy. I define being a sissy for me as a submissive, very feminine transwoman who wants to please others in all ways. I don’t see me as a child-like sissy. 

All these things weigh on me but I am not moving forward on any of them. I know I should move forward, but the event that was going to half decide on the marriage got pushed because of the COVID-19 responses and will now be pushed to the end of July. Once that is done, I hope to know more about the marriage and if I will be looking to move out. I think that is the trigger for everything. If I move out, I can move forward on a lot of other items. If I do go forward with being myself, I know my sexuality will definitely be explored in depth. I feel I am too old for some stuff but who knows what I may find. It is going to be a little expensive as I would like to buy a lot of stuff between clothes, some toys, chastity, and all that a sissy would require. I feel if I were to transition, I would need a new job. Something I can do remotely would be ideal but it may be something that is accepting of me presenting as female. 

I foresee a hard road ahead if that is my path but it may be the only path I can take to maintain my sanity. I feel I have more to say but the words are not yet coming so expect more posts as the thoughts and fears come.

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