Still looking for a new job. Several interviews, however, none of them have panned out. I don't know what it is. I think it is one of three things, either I don't come off well in the interview which I can totally believe as I am so shy it is difficult for me to do that. Second, it could be I am old for IT work. Being 48 and doing IT work for 20 years, I am asking for a lot of money for my salary. I may have to adjust that. The third thing, my wife thinks this is the one, is that my previous employer is essentially blacklisting to potential employers. I don't tend to believe it but the longer I am out of a job, the more it creeps in to my thoughts.  I think I need to check out a couple of interview sites for ideas before my next two interviews in a couple of days. I could even hit the local state unemployment office for help, but they closed that one permanently. We will see how it goes. I am looking forward to one of them as it would be the next step in my IT career if I …

You Reap What You Sow

Sort of sucks when the policy you approve of, discriminating someone based on your personal belief, comes back and bites you in the ass.

Sarah Sanders says was thrown out Virginia restaurant

Update to the Update

Still looking for a job. Major drama/fighting going on at the home front that I will go over in a future post. Lots of things are currently in limbo and I don't know what they will lead to. Scary time for me at the moment. I thought this was going to be a better year but nope, not going to happen.

Quick Update

Well, I have been out of a job now for about a month. Still looking and had an interview but it is starting to drain me not working. I may have to start getting out of my comfort zone and hand out some business cards to get sideline work and see where that takes me. The other consequence of being unemployed is I have no means to look at moving out or beginning a transition. It is still on the table but will definitely need to be put off until I can start making real cash. Until then, I will just need to create my own plans and road map for myself and where I want to go.

I have pretty much determined that if I do get to the point of moving out, depending on my job, I will be moving a little north to the Twin Cities MN area. I have looked at other places and I think I would miss the cold winters, yeah that sounds crazy. I think the other option would be Denver but that would require a lot more that I have now. I guess living for 20+ years in Minnesota has made it hard to leave and I thi…

Path Forward

After the latest blowup at the house, I have started looking into apartments. It appears that moving out is the only way to make life a little less chaotic. I just need to come up with the initial moving funds. I really do not want to ask family for funds. I need to find some way to do this on my own. I am old enough I shouldn't need to. I think this will happen within the next 3-4 months. If I do pull this trigger, I am seriously considering the option of presenting as male at work and living as female the rest of the time. I think I would start out fairly androgynous to start to make it a little easier for me to ease into life. It might also make it a little easier on the budget to not have to buy an entire new wardrobe right away.
If I do end up moving out, which is looking to be likely, I am looking forward to trying to meet others to begin some sort of support system to help me on my path with some guidance and counsel.  I know others have been through this and would love to …

To Move or Not to Move

I have been thinking lately that if I were to move out of the house and proceed with a divorce, where would I want to live. I have always thought that if I were to begin transitioning, it might be best if I were to move somewhere new. Lately I have been thinking southern California. I used to live there in Orange County when I was in the military. I don't know if it is just fond memories that draw me there or what. I do know that I would definitely miss the four seasons here in the mid west. I can definitely deal with -20F rather than 90F with humidity. Another location I have thought of is Denver. I love Colorado but am somewhat unfamiliar with it where as California, at least I have some familiar memories. Another option is to just move to Minneapolis/St Paul as I know it very well and it is large enough for me to get lost in and be me.

I just don't know if just uprooting myself is what I should do. It would take a lot and still does not get to my underlying issue but then a…

Year End

We have come to the end of the year and I am starting to think about next year. I don't know what to think of the upcoming year. I am worried it is just going to be more of the same, in which case, my only resolution is to survive. I do think I am going to try and write more again. I have been so stuck on Twitter lately that this has felt neglected. I do find it a good place to plant my thoughts and gives me a change to think things over if only for a few minutes.

I think I know what 2018 needs and yet I still am in that rut of not wanting to take that first step. I spend so much of my energy worrying about making sure others are comfortable and find ways to ease their life, mine has always taken a back seat. I know I need to put myself in the drivers seat but it seems hard to do it when you are barreling down the highway at 100mph. I just need to stop for a minute, sit in silence and work up the gumption to make step one.

Kate Winslet, The Holiday may have to be watched and you c…